Hello there, fellow sub! Since you're reading this article, I'm guessing that you're feening for a little online punishment! I'm a submissive guy who's very experienced when it comes to the intersections of kink and technology - more specifically Kik!
Finding a mistress on Kik may seem like an impossible feat considering you have the entire internet at your disposal, but it's not that hard if you know how to cut to the chase! Here are my tips on finding a Kik mistress:
Where to Look:
It's not that hard to find a Kik Mistress, but it may seem difficult because you seemingly have the whole internet to sift through. But truthfully you just have to know where to look! You're going to waste a ton of time if you look in the wrong corners of the internet. However, if you find the right places to look, you'll have luck in no time.
In addition to these three sites, you can find plenty of Mistresses on Twitter and Instagram, just try to search relevant tags! A lot of these women do rely on financial domination, so expect to pay money if you choose to go the professional route.
If you don't know what Fetlife is, you badly need a kinky education. For most kinksters and fetishists alike, Fetlife is the online epicenter for the community. It truly is like Facebook for kinky people. There are groups, forums, events pages, and plenty of other stuff that makes it effortless to connect with the kinksters close to you and across the globe.
Search for Kik Mistress or Online Subs, and you'll be met with a ton of forums and groups that center around online domination and submission!
If you don't want to delve into Fetlife, you can choose to look at KikSexting.com instead. There are a ton of other sites like this where people post their Kik usernames to find people to sext with. You'll find threads on this forum site where both subs and dommes are looking for online play.
While this is a viable option for when you're looking for a Kik mistress, I'd suggest you keep on your toes when it comes to catfish and scammy people. These sites are wrought with fakes.
This is one of the most unreliable ways to find a Kik mistress because you really never know what you're going to get, but I have to mention it because I found a few of my favorite mistresses through these types of sites. I mainly use Omegle, which is like Chat Roulette's orange and blue cousin.
They make it really easy to input your interests (like BDSM, Kik, and femdom) and get matched with strangers with the same interests. Again, expect catfish and inexperienced dommes on this site… but you may be unexpectedly surprised.
What to Say:
When you post in forums or reach out to a mistress online, you should know how to approach discussing building an online D/s relationship. You need to know what to talk about, how to approach a powerful woman, and what is unacceptable. Talking with a mistress about a potential arrangement can be as easy as a normal conversation or a delicate dance, it just depends on who you're talking with.
Here's how you go about talking about getting dominated on Kik with your potential mistress.
What you want to do
One thing that you need to touch on is what exactly you want out of the relationship. There are people who want something more casual over Kik where you occasionally play, and there are people who want something more serious where they talk more often. Figure out what you want in terms of commitment and frequency of playing.
Also think about what you want to do in terms of roleplay, sexting, sending pics, etc. Let's say you don't want to send photos, you'll be able to find a Mistress that's into straight up roleplay, but you should explicitly state what you're looking for so you can find someone who wants the same thing!
What you're into
Your particular set of Kinks is unique to you! Think about what fantasies you want to live out in your domination sessions. Think about what boundaries you're willing to push, think about what you want to live out. And most importantly come up with nonnegotiables. Figure out what you NEED to happen during a session to get off.
But also think about what you do not want to happen during a session under any circumstances. The best way to organize your thoughts is by putting them into categories: want, will, and won't. Your won'ts are your hard limits. Your wills can be boundaries you're willing to push or things you're not particularly turned on by but are willing to do if it gets your partner off. And your wants should be the things you're really turned on by.
Terms of Submission
No, you're not going to be signing any sort of contract 50 Shades of Grey style (that's a total myth), but you should think about what you want and need from your Domme. In addition, they should tell you what they expect from you.
Think about what you need from a potential Domme to feel comfortable, turned on, and happy in your situation. Will you talk once a week? Or will you talk any time she messages you? What aspects of your life will she control? Or is your fun strictly fantasy? Think about the aspects of a D/s relationship that are somewhat non-sexual that you want present in your arrangement.
What to Expect
Finding a mistress is not a short process. Well, finding a mistress for a night might be, but if you want to have any sort of long-term relationship over Kik with a mistress, it might take some time and effort. You may not find the perfect match immediately. It may take a few candidates before you find the right person for you that meets your needs!
Here are a few things to expect during your search for a Kik mistress:
During your search, you may find some mistresses who are clearly just now embracing their dominant side! Inexperienced mistresses come in a few different flavors, but the truly problematic kind is the kind that doesn't understand or respect limits. Kick these girls to the curb. However, if you do come across someone who's not 100% sure of what they're doing, don't ditch them right off the bat!
If she's learning you have the opportunity to grow with her!
Trail and Error
You're going to probably go through a few mistresses before you find the right person in the sense that it's going to take some trial and error.
Don't get discouraged if you're finding yourself not clicking with someone, it might take a few sessions before you get into a groove… or it might take a few sessions with a few different women to find the right Mistress for you!
While it sucks, don't be too surprised if some of your mistresses pull a disappearing act on you. It totally sucks, but it does happen. Kik is used by a lot of people who take full advantage of being able to change their username and start over from scratch.
If you do find that your mistress has vanished, move on and continue the search for someone who's a little more committed.