Are you new to sexting? Or have you found yourself falling into a routine when it comes to your sexting life? Do you feel uninspired? Or has it just been a while and you need to get your groove back? Or are you just making sure that you're doing it right?
Regardless of what your current issue with sexting is at the moment, we've got you covered.
The amount of time that I spend on the internet coupled with the amount of time I sent sexts as an inexplicably horny college student has made me somewhat of an expert on the topic. So you can trust me to tell you the truth. I won't lead you astray.
My goal is to get you to go from getting roasted in a group message - which happens to all of us at some point, don't worry - to being bragged about in a group message. If you live and die by this sexting guide, you'll have success - I guarantee it.
I've taken time out of the time I'd usually spend sexting - because, ya know, I'm in constant demand - to write this guide for you, dear reader. I've filled it with tips and tricks to keep your partner interested as well as definite do's and don'ts. And if you still need a little guidance, I've included some one-liners that can help you with your sexting endeavors.
Enjoy, dear reader. And happy sexting!
Tips & Tricks
One thing I noticed when I first started sexting was that sometimes conversations fizzle out like an unstimulated boner. So in order to keep the conversation going, you've got to fan that flame. There are a few tips that you can employ whilst texting to make sure that your partner doesn't get disinterested and turn their attention to something else like, say Fortnite.
Here are a few of my tips to keep your partner interested, engaged, and turned on:
One of the easiest ways to drive away your sexting partner or induce bordem is not to respond quickly.
While you definitely need to take your time with your responses - because well written dirty messages take effort - you shouldn't take an hour to respond (unless you're at work and you're using sexting as a means of teasing your partner).
I recommend taking no more than 5-10 minutes (10 is really pushing it) to respond to a message. And if you are taking 10 minutes to respond, you should be putting so much detail in your message that your partner should be able to practically smell sex while reading it.
Ask your partner about their fantasies
If you're suffering from writer's block while sexting, one of the quickest ways to figure out how to satisfy your partner is to straight up ask what they want.
Sexting is a great way to explore potential fantasies with low commitment. So let's say your partner has a fantasy that's particularly kinky or risky (like having sex in public) you can explore that verbally! They might find that they're super into it and want to try it out for real. Or they might only want to do it in theory.
Ask your partner what a particular fantasy of theirs is and elaborate on it. Say if they want to have sex in a park or in the woods set the scene for them. Ask if they would think it's sexy if you pulled them off the hiking trail and pushed them against a tree to ravage them or something.
Take their fantasy and make it come alive… in their head… via text.
Utilize spell check
While you're not writing an essay, you should definitely make sure that you spell check your texts. Try to limit your text speak to a minimum too. Sure use familiar abbreviations like "idk" and "omg," but as soon as you're not even 100% sure of what an abbreviation means that's a sign you should leave it out of your text.
Sexts should be descriptive but easy to read. Don't send your partner something that looks like a code that needs to be cracked.
Punctuation is important
Know what's not sexy? Run on sentences.
Okay for real, you don't want to make your sexts confusing or difficult to understand. You want your partner, and one of the easiest ways to fuck up a perfectly good sext is by forgetting a comma or a period or two.
The last thing you want to do is to make it, so your partner is confused while they're trying to get off. It's not sexy. And it could easily kill the mood.
Think of better words for penis, vagina, et cetera
Words are important when you're sexting! Odds are unless you're talking via Snapchat you're not sending photos or videos with every sext.
You have to walk a fine line between sounding too clinical and too raunchy when you're sexting. You don't want to use the anatomical words for you and your partner's genitals too much, or you'll sound like an OBGYN. But you also don't want to use stuff that's too comical to be tasteful, or you'll risk sounding like a drunk frat boy.
Use words like dick or pussy, but also use different versions of these words that toe the line like they do. Or allude to genitalia in a roundabout but kind of sexy way.
Do's & Don'ts
Just like having actual sex, there are unspoken rules for sexting aswell. There are definite do's and don'ts that you should keep in mind if you want to achieve Don Juan status while you're sexting.
Here are a few things that I think are musts and must nots:
Do Use sexting as a preface to sex
There is nothing sexier than teasing and being teased. Build up is so important to sex. And since technology is just as much as a part of our lives as eating or drinking, we might as well use it to our sexual advantage.
Some of the best sex I've had was after sending sneaky sexy texts back and forth with my partner throughout my workday. When we got home, we practically tore each other's clothes off. It was fucking awesome.
So if you have a date planned with your significant other or a fuck buddy for later in the day, why not kick things off early with a few steamy texts?
DON'T Use a ton of emojis
When I get a sext, the last thing I want it to look like is hieroglyphs. It's not cute to be sending texts that are eggplant-emoji ridden. I'd say that emojis should be reserved for cheeky flirting and ironic purposes only.
Do Sext often
Having sex regularly is healthy. Studies have shown that regular sex is vital to mental and physical health! If you're not getting laid on the regular or - especially - if you're in a long distance relationship you should definitely be sexting all the fucking time.
Sure, porn is great for getting off. But sexting is definitely more fun, more intimate, and much more personalized to your interests than the first video you're going to find on Pornhub.
So if you don't have someone to sext with, find a stranger on the internet to send dirty messages to.
DO NOT Send unsolicited nudes
Honestly, there are more than a few reasons why you shouldn't send unsolicited nudes, but I'm going to specifically talk about two.
If you think that you should send an unannounced dick pic, you're wrong. Seriously. Even if a girl wants to see your fully erect rig you might as well ask her if she wants to see it? Unsolicited dick pics aren't fun if you're in public or at work. They're just not. They're jarring.
But if you do feel like you want to surprise your lover with nudes, you're going to get significantly more positive reactions if you're a girl sending unannounced nudes than if you're a guy. Even if that's not your greatest concern, what if someone is looking on their phone right at that moment? What if they're screen sharing at work? What if their boss is reading emails on their phone?
I'd just make sure that you're not going to get your partner or yourself in trouble before you send unannounced nudes.
Do use voice recordings and videos
While text is sexy, why not subsidize your messages with a little bit of media?
If you know your partner is alone, there is no reason you shouldn't be sending sexy pics or videos along with salacious messages.
Voice messaging is a feature that I think is seriously underused when it comes to sexting. There was a whole project - that is now lost to the Tumblr-pocolypse - that centered around the concept of talking dirty which consisted of breathy messages and erotica read out loud. You're lying if the thought of someone's voice in your ear moaning and groaning about how they want to fuck you doesn't sound boner inducing.
Sexting Examples That Actually Work
Okay, so now that I've given you the basics and unspoken rules of sexting. However, you might want a few practical examples!
Don't worry; I've gotcha covered.
Here are a few sexts that you can either copy verbatim when you're sexting or use as a jumping-off point to crafting your own unique sexy texts:
1. "When I get home I want you to lay back and I'll take care of everything"
There is nothing hotter than getting told that you can be a selfish lover. While I think that giving in bed is one of the most rewarding and sexually fulfilling things you can be in bed, there is something great about knowing that you're not going to have to damn thing when you get home.
If you want your partner in the palm of your hand by the time you see one another, this is the kind of sext you should send.
2. "The second you get home my clothes are coming off"
Like I said, there is nothing like sexual tension.
If you know you're going to see your lover in a few hours or a few days, why not set the tone for your date (or hangout) with a text like this.
This helps build some serious tension that will feel absolutely amazing when you finally have the chance to shatter it.
3 . "Hey babe, I'm bored at work/home. Want to play a game?"
Maybe you're not going to be seeing your lover anytime soon, but you feel like getting off.
Maybe you just need some entertainment while they're at work or on a trip. Maybe you are just dying for a nude.
The best way to instigate some sexting is by prompting your partner with a game of Truth or Dare - or something of the like - and have your texts get dirtier and dirtier as the game goes on.
4. "I'm about to get in bed, I wish you were here to join me"
This is another great sexting conversation starter.
This text tells your partner that you're alone, you're probably in some sort of state of undress, and you're horny.
What else do you need to get started?
5. "I want you to be rough with me"
If you're in the thick of a conversation and you want to steer your lover in the right direction, this is a great way to do it!
Remember how I said sexting is a great way to try out your fantasies? Here's a great way to test the waters when it comes to rough sex - especially if you've never brought it up with your partner before. If you or they find that you're not into it, sexting gives you an easy way out. But if this is something you want to explore, this is a conversation starter.
6. "Do you want me to show you what you do to me?"
Here's a great way to ask to send your partner a nude without being stiff or awkward!
If you're especially hard or wet while thinking about your partner and want to send a text but are unsure if they're in the place to get a nude, here's the perfect kind of text to get their consent.
7. "The only thing you're (I am) going to be riding is me (you)"
I mean this sext kind of speaks for itself.
It's sexy and blunt and definitely gives your partner a clear idea of the kind of mood you're in.
8. "Remember when we did [blank]?"
If you're sexting your partner and want to invoke a particular memory without going into possibly confusing and complicated detail, this is a great way to do so!
All you have to do is mention a time or previous conversation, and your partner will be immediately transported back to that point in time!
9. "I want to feel you all over me"
This is a great way to show your partner how much you want them right now. Or if you have no idea what you should say, this a great filler text for you to figure out what you want to do next… or give you time inbetween texts to do other things with your hands!
10. "Tell me what you want me to do to you"
Do you have sext-er's block? This is a great way to push past it.
Additionally, this a great message to send if you want to get your partner to divulge a fantasy to you. Some people are shy about their sexual interests; this could be the push they need to be open with you!
11. "Tell me exactly what you're doing to yourself right now"
This is another fantastic example of a message to send if you don't know what you should say at the moment. It's also a great push to get your partner to send you a descriptive and sexy text if you feel like you've been doing the bulk of the work.
Plus, if you want to lay back and enjoy yourself for a second, shoot of this text and wait for the sexts to roll in.